I have never thought of taking my own life but have thought of throwing my shotgun in the back of the car with some kit and just escaping for a few days into the woods or off to somewhere remote in Scotland. But what would I be escaping from, sounds, smells, people, social media, friends, and family or the thoughts in my head?

It would not matter the distance I traveled or the location I went to… be it a woodland in Scotland or a busy town or city at night the thoughts would still be there and there is no escaping the reality of who I am or what I have seen and done, the only way to escape that is not an option for me as I love Claire and the boy too much. So with help and support of the people closest to me I will continue this war only, it’s not on foreign soil it’s with myself and the person I am.

“If you are going through hell, keep going.”
Winston S. Churchill